Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ugh...I feel like crap!

Do you know what I have spent the last two days doing? Eating nothing but CRAP!! I decided that since I have lost so much weight and haven't had all the foods I love in so long, I was going to eat ALL of those crappy foods in two days. Blah. I don't like how I feel at all. It is yucky. It has definitely given me the motivation I need to get moving and get back to eating healthy. But now that I am where I want to be, I can experiment a little with points, different exercises...

In a way, I am grateful for this experience. It has made me see that I do not want to feel this way. No wonder I was so blah all the time before I lost weight. This is how I ate all the time! It is amazing how much difference a healthy lifestyle really makes in my overall quality of life! So tomorrow, I am back in the swing.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

I bought shoes today!


Yeah, I know, big deal. What does buying shoes have to do with weight loss? Believe it or not, for me, it has A LOT to do with weight loss. Before this little "journey", I was a sloppy, sweats and a t-shirt, don't care what I look like, throw the Nike's on kind of girl. Since I have lost all this weight I have started to care a little more about how I look. Thanks to the generosity (and weight loss) of my little sister, I have clothes that are actually cute. I have gone back to wearing a little make-up. I even had my hair professionally cut (for the first time in my entire life).

BUT, shoes are expensive (and thus in my mind a bit more of an investment). Because I never cared what I looked like, all I had were flip flops, Nike's, and dress shoes. The flip flops worked in the summer. The Nike's worked for winter. And the dress shoes worked for church. I have not bought a pair of "regular" shoes in literally YEARS. I bet it has been AT LEAST 5 years!

My wonderful husband gave me his Christmas bonus because he was proud of me for winning AGAIN (oh yeah, today was our final weigh in and I won, more later). I decided that I was going to buy shoes! As weird as it sounds, my buying shoes is kind of a stamp of reality on all this hard work. I feel good and now it is time to LOOK good from my head to my feet.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Awesome find!!!

I just found the best website!! I have already found TONS of very useful information and I have only spend about 30 minutes on the website!


http://www.nutritiondata.com/
Here is a screen shot of their home page (once registered anyway). Registration is free. My favorite part (okay, one of my favorite PARTS)? The little gray "Analyze Recipe" button (right above the purple "Diabetes" box). One of my biggest struggles with dieting is my own recipes. I cook mostly from scratch. I know how to add up all the nutrition information for the ingredients in the recipes but it is such a PAIN! This lets you type in (and save) any of your own person recipes and get the nutrition information per serving!! LOVING IT!

BUT, THERE'S MORE!! I have found different online sites that allow you to look up nutrition information of certain foods. But this one is different from any that I have seen. Right up at the top (so you don't have to search for it every time you go to the site) is a box that you type in the food you're looking for. Be as specific as possible or you will get TONS of results. You then select the food from a list that best matches what you are looking for (it has meats, fruits, veggies, packaged foods, fast foods).

You then get this screen (this is actually only part of the screen). It rates the food you entered on weight loss, optimal health, fullness factor, glycemic load, etc. Scroll down and it breaks down the specific nutrients, carbs, minerals, protiens, fats, etc.
There is some cool info on this site! Like I said, I know I am only scratching the surface so go exploring and let me know what you find!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

It still hasn't sunk in....

I am so over the anorexia comment. Thanks so much for all of your comments. They helped more than you can know. I do know that I have gone about this the right way and that is all that matters!

I still can't accept the fact that I am a size 4. It is seriously weirding me out (yes I know weirding isn't a real word). When I tried on pants a couple of days ago, I was at Walmart. I convinced myself that it was just because I was at an el cheapo store and they just run bigger. So today, I made a trip to a department store to try on their size 4 pants. I tried on three different styles (two brands) and they still fit! My daughter was with me and couldn't figure out why I was trying on pants if I had no intention of buying any. I had to explain to her that it was just because her mommy is a little bit crazy!

Funny story here - I am so used to going straight to the "Women's" section that I didn't even know how the rest of the store is laid out. I walked in and thought, "I don't need the women's section anymore so that must mean I can just go to any of the other sections." Wrong! The section I started in (as far as I could tell anyway) had sizes ranging from 12 to 18. I didn't even know that section existed! I could have been looking in that section when I bought clothes! Oh well! Then I couldn't figure out where the section would be that did have the right size. I didn't want Juniors (just because they're sized differently so it wouldn't have been very useful). I felt too dumb to go ask a salesperson where my size was (okay, so maybe I'm not totally over the anorexia comments. I'm still a bit self conscious). After wandering around for a while I finally found them! It is seriously a big mindset adjustment

Weigh in

I have to laugh at myself today. I have been so bad this week. I just kind of "gave up" I guess you could say. I have come to grips with the fact that I don't have a chance at winning this competition so I can't bring myself to do all the work that I have been doing. I did stick to my points but I did not even once exercise this week! Naughty, naughty me! So why am I laughing when I have been so bad? Because I lost a pound this week and haven't lost any for the last three weeks (during which I WAS working my butt off)! Maybe my body just needed to rest. I actually read this week that it is possible to work your body too hard and it can cause a "weight rebound." It doesn't really make sense but neither does eating more (and that one I have personally tried and had work).

So my goal is to find a workout this week that won't necessarily kick my trash, but that will still get me to move. At this point, I am more focused on maintaining and staying healthy than on weight loss. And I know that in order to stay healthy, I need to keep exercising (and eating healthy but that seems to be coming much easier these days).

Here is to NOT gaining this week!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

That was short lived...


I've already had my little bubble of excitement burst! Lately, I have been getting a lot of "you're too skinny" comments but most of them have been made in passing or by people who's opinions matter very little to me. My sister has been getting the same comments (she has also recently lost a lot of weight) so we call each other and vent our frustrations. First thing this morning, I called her to tell her that I was a size 4 because I knew she would be encouraging and supportive. She was so excited for me. This was going to be a good day! I was on such a high and she made it even better.

Then I talked to a good friend of mine. I didn't call her to tell her about my size but I was excited so I ended up telling her. She responded with "That is too skinny. That is like, anorexic skinny." And basically went on and on about how I was now too skinny. It really made me feel bad. I don't know if she reads this blog. I kind of hope not because my intent here is not to make her feel bad. It is more to bring awareness to people. I have worked my butt off! I have NOT starved myself. I eat exactly what Weight Watchers says I should eat. No I take that back, I ADD two points a day for exercising and I eat my extra 5 bonus points EVERY day. I don't have a separate menu I prepare for myself. I eat whatever my family eats. We have just made changes to our diet to include more healthy items and exclude the less healthy options.

Since I have been getting these comments lately, I was starting to feel a bit self conscious so I looked up my BMI on the computer. My ideal weight range is 118-159. Guess what? Mid point of that range is 138.5. I am currently 137.6! It seems like there is a 5 pound window that people think you need to be in to be "healthy". If you go over it, you're fat. If you go under it, you're too skinny. So next time you see someone who is "skinny" tell them they look great NOT that they look anorexic!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

WHAT!?!?!?!?

I have been really struggling with motivation this time around. We only have a week and half left in this competition and I just don't want to do it anymore. I am still doing the eating part but I haven't worked out since Friday (the fact that I know I don't have a shot at winning is the biggest factor me thinks). So, I decided I needed something to motivate me. Maybe a trip to the store to see if I am close to fitting into a size 6. Last time I tried on pants, I was a size 8. I figured if I was close to a size 6, it might give me the motivation I need to finish strong and get into that size 6!

As I was driving to the store, I was coming up with all the excuses (or scapegoats if you will) ahead of time for not fitting into a size 6 yet. "I still have a lot more excess in my belly than I would like which would make it hard to fit in a size 6." "I have always had wide hips. What can you do about your bone structure? If my bones are too wide for a size 6, there is no way I will ever fit into a size 6. " You know, setting myself up to not be too disappointed when I fail. It makes it easier to take...

I walked into the store and pulled the first pair of size 6 pants I could find off the rack. I kind of laughed at myself for even grabbing them. I thought to myself "I hope I don't pop the seams out trying on these pants!" I took them into the dressing room and sure enough, they didn't fit. Bummer huh? Not really! 'Cause guess what? They didn't fit because they were TOO BIG! WHAT!?!?!?!?

Okay, so let's try a size 4? Uh...okay...? I grabbed a size 4 and slid them right on! They fit like a dream. I use the word dream because to me it is still a dream! I can't believe it is real! I thought to myself, "There must have been a mix up. The wrong pants were put on the wrong hanger!" I checked the tag. Nope! They were size 4 alright. "Okay, so it must be this brand. If I get a different brand, surely a size 4 won't fit." I got another brand....and the dream continues because they fit too!!

Never, ever in my wildest dreams did I think I would get down to a size 4. I don't even know how I did it! I am so excited!

Just a side note here: I wasn't aware that there is a difference between Junior sizes and Women's/Misses sizes. I was always confused when I went to the thrift store and got two pairs of pants in roughly the same size and one fit and the other didn't. So just a tidbit in case I am not the only retard out there - Junior sizes are the odd numbers. Women's/Misses are the even numbers. And Juniors are sized smaller than the others (ie. a 7 in Juniors is NOT the same thing as an 8 in Women's). I didn't try on any Junior pants but based on my past sizing, I would guess I am a 7 or 9 in Juniors even though I am a 4 in Women's). So now you know...

Monday, December 7, 2009

Weigh in

Yup! Definitely plateaued! I did lose but barely again. I have lost just over a pound in the last month. But I am okay with that! All I want to do at this point is keep from gaining. I've worked too hard to let it all go! I promise that soon I will get back to some posts other than weigh ins but I just haven't been much into blogging lately. It WILL come though! I did want to post my graph though (now that I can). I am actually a bit embarrassed by the spikes. That is when I wasn't doing competitions. I didn't realize how much outside pressures affect my weight loss!
(This graph doesn't have this last weigh in but just imagine that straight line staying straight!)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Weigh in

I am a little late on this post. Not much to report. I did lose weight but by the skin of my teeth (good thing I brushed them or I probably wouldn't have!). I think I am officially hitting a plateau. I'm not too upset about it because I have lost a lot of weight and I'm happy with where I am. I just don't want to gain because I don't want to have to pay!

One thing that does frustrate me is watching my points (even on Thanksgiving day) and exercising every day and maintaining. I don't want to have to be that strict just to maintain! I would like a little wiggle room without worrying about gaining 10 pounds!

I was actually going to post an chart that shows my weight loss (and gains) throughout the year but the picture link isn't working. I guess I'll put it up when I can get it to work!