I mentioned in my last post that I have been very busy and thus haven't posted. I decided I need to come clean. That isn't the real reason I haven't posted. I haven't posted because I have been HORRIBLE and I keep thinking that I will get back on track before I post so then I won't have to make any "confessions". But that isn't happening so here I am confessing!
I am back to exercising (after about three weeks of NOTHING). I realized how much better I feel when I exercise and I was hoping the exercise would counter balance my eating (but it hasn't). I got a couple of new videos that I'll write about later but they seem to be pretty good workouts.
Okay, I've stalled long enough. Now to the eating thing. I have been PATHETIC in this department. I thought I could just "drift." You know, not really watch what I am eating because now I have "learned" how to eat right, it should just come naturally. Not so much! I have actually gained 6.4 pounds since the final weigh in 3 weeks ago! NOT GOOD!! So here goes my self justification for my weight gain:
1 - I lost 5 pounds the final week and I'm not even sure how I did it. I stuck to my points but didn't exercise and dropped almost a full pound a day. I told my hubby at the beginning of that week that I wasn't going to start exercising because losing a pound a day gave me shot at winning the competition (which I actually ended up doing). So, in my mind that 5 pound loss was somewhat artificial. So if I take the weight from the prior week, I have only gained 1.4 pounds. Still not good but better.
2 - It was the holidays for cryin' out loud! I did tons better than I would have in the past!
3 - I am 20 pounds below my original goal weight so it is okay to have a little bit of flexibility. As long as I can fit into my size 4 pants, what does the number on the scale matter anyway?
Now for a reality check! This little pattern of self justification is what got me into this mess in the first place! I am really good at self justification. On a daily basis, I find myself thinking thoughts such as, "It's only a bite. One bite doesn't really matter (neither does this bite, or this bite....)," or "It's been a rough day, I deserve a treat," or "It's a holiday, special occasion, etc. Who counts calories on holidays, etc?" Maybe I should change the word justification to destruction - self destruction!
So, drifting=self destruction which is NOT AN OPTION! Here is to a better week! No, I am not still bent on weight loss. I am actually happy where I am (or was anyway). But I do need to focus on maintaining. Weight loss is not a trip that you go on and at the end is it done. It is a life long JOURNEY - something that continues even after the "goal" has been reached.
