I pretty much sucked at the weigh in today! I gained a pound but I knew I would because I just didn't have any motivation last week. I am still going back and forth on the menu thing. I liked it because it helped me stick to a set plan, but then when I didn't have it, I just went crazy. My old way actually did work...I just don't know. I do have to say though that gaining a pound definitely made me want to do better (today anyway). Seriously though. I just need to get off this last 13ish pounds...I know, I know...that is all we ever say, "If I could just do this, then I would be happy," and then once you do it, you move on to something else.
Just some thoughts I have had recently. I have been really down on myself the last little while. I twist everything everyone says or does into some reason that they hate me (and who knows, maybe they really do). But this has only been since I have gone off my "diet." It really got me to thinking about depression and how maybe our eating patterns play a role in depression. Then I got thinking that the time in my life that I was at my worst (depression) was right after I had my first baby. I blamed it on post pardom depression (which I still think played a major role) but I realized that is also the time in my life when I was eating my worst and weighed more than I have at any other time in my life - including more than I weighed being 9 months pregnant!
So I have two theories. One is that eating healthier and more on a schedule helps physically by making my body healthier and keeping my blood sugar at a more constant level (I have a whole post to do on my theories with that one). My other is just the mental aspect. When I know I am eating healthier, I feel better about myself. When I know I am eating crappy, I feel bad about myself and feel like I have no self control. If I don't like myself, how can I think that others can like me?
That is not to say that my entire mental state hangs in the balance on whether or not I am following a set diet plan. But I do think that it plays a major role.
Guess I better run so I can exercise while the babies are sleeping!
1 comment:
I really agree with your theory about not eating well makes you feel awful and eating good makes you feel good. I wish I could control my thoughts about the way I look too but its just a natural thing to look at ourselves and find fault. I hope you can find that happy place someday.
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