I mentioned in my last post that I have been very busy and thus haven't posted. I decided I need to come clean. That isn't the real reason I haven't posted. I haven't posted because I have been HORRIBLE and I keep thinking that I will get back on track before I post so then I won't have to make any "confessions". But that isn't happening so here I am confessing!
I am back to exercising (after about three weeks of NOTHING). I realized how much better I feel when I exercise and I was hoping the exercise would counter balance my eating (but it hasn't). I got a couple of new videos that I'll write about later but they seem to be pretty good workouts.
Okay, I've stalled long enough. Now to the eating thing. I have been PATHETIC in this department. I thought I could just "drift." You know, not really watch what I am eating because now I have "learned" how to eat right, it should just come naturally. Not so much! I have actually gained 6.4 pounds since the final weigh in 3 weeks ago! NOT GOOD!! So here goes my self justification for my weight gain:
1 - I lost 5 pounds the final week and I'm not even sure how I did it. I stuck to my points but didn't exercise and dropped almost a full pound a day. I told my hubby at the beginning of that week that I wasn't going to start exercising because losing a pound a day gave me shot at winning the competition (which I actually ended up doing). So, in my mind that 5 pound loss was somewhat artificial. So if I take the weight from the prior week, I have only gained 1.4 pounds. Still not good but better.
2 - It was the holidays for cryin' out loud! I did tons better than I would have in the past!
3 - I am 20 pounds below my original goal weight so it is okay to have a little bit of flexibility. As long as I can fit into my size 4 pants, what does the number on the scale matter anyway?
Now for a reality check! This little pattern of self justification is what got me into this mess in the first place! I am really good at self justification. On a daily basis, I find myself thinking thoughts such as, "It's only a bite. One bite doesn't really matter (neither does this bite, or this bite....)," or "It's been a rough day, I deserve a treat," or "It's a holiday, special occasion, etc. Who counts calories on holidays, etc?" Maybe I should change the word justification to destruction - self destruction!
So, drifting=self destruction which is NOT AN OPTION! Here is to a better week! No, I am not still bent on weight loss. I am actually happy where I am (or was anyway). But I do need to focus on maintaining. Weight loss is not a trip that you go on and at the end is it done. It is a life long JOURNEY - something that continues even after the "goal" has been reached.
2 comments:
It's hard when reality smacks you right in the face huh? I think the "self justification" or, destruction as you aptly put it, is one of the hardest things to deal with as we get comfortable or close to goal. Most of the urgency to "lose" and be good is gone. You'll pull it back together. You didn't come this far to let it go. Just keep moving forward :)
I know you can do it your stronger then you think! Look how far you have come. I know its really hard I lost 40 pounds at one point and then played a similar game and ended up gaining it all back plus 10 more! I think if you allow yourself a treat now and then it wont kill you and you can feel like your ok. I am pulling for you keep up the good work!
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