Just kidding!

So I got my groove back....until I went to a family party. I even starved myself all day so I could eat at the party and not go over my points. But remember the add campaign for Lays potato chips? "No one can eat just one." Yeah, I wasn't even going to eat any but I thought "just one won't hurt." And then I kept eating and eating and eating! I think they lace the chips with something that makes them addicting (okay not really, but it makes me feel better about eating so many.) So I figure I probably went over my points by about 6 points. Then I went over yesterday by about 8. I have to figure out a way to get past my "I already blew this week, I might as well enjoy myself" mentality. Who cares if I ate too many chips on Saturday? Pick it back up and do good on Sunday! I'm doing good today though. I lost 3 pounds and 2% body fat at this week's weigh-in but that was artificially high because I exercised right before the weigh-in. So next week will seem like a bad week even if I do good. That gives me something to look forward to!

I got my groove back!!

At least I hope I did. I finally feel like I WANT to do this last ten pounds. I exercised today and yesterday. I have been sticking to my points. And I don't feel like I am torturing myself all day long! I am not quite sure what did it. I just finally feel like I WANT to do it. It is so hard to get motivated when it feels like a chore. I just need it to last 9 1/2 more weeks!

I have figured out how people with a lot of kids stay skinny. They are the moms who put their kids in piano, tball, soccer, swimming, dance, tumbling, ice skating..... They don't have time to eat because they are running kids to and fro all day long!

I am not that kind of mom. We sit at home all day because I don't dare take five kids in public by myself. So I sit at home and eat all day long! Guess I better get myself busy. I can use the money that I would have spent on a gym membership and put my kids in all sorts of stuff. Okay, not really, but I do need to get out and do more! Then I am too busy to eat and my kids have a life!

Weigh in

I pretty much sucked at the weigh in today! I gained a pound but I knew I would because I just didn't have any motivation last week. I am still going back and forth on the menu thing. I liked it because it helped me stick to a set plan, but then when I didn't have it, I just went crazy. My old way actually did work...I just don't know. I do have to say though that gaining a pound definitely made me want to do better (today anyway). Seriously though. I just need to get off this last 13ish pounds...I know, I know...that is all we ever say, "If I could just do this, then I would be happy," and then once you do it, you move on to something else.

Just some thoughts I have had recently. I have been really down on myself the last little while. I twist everything everyone says or does into some reason that they hate me (and who knows, maybe they really do). But this has only been since I have gone off my "diet." It really got me to thinking about depression and how maybe our eating patterns play a role in depression. Then I got thinking that the time in my life that I was at my worst (depression) was right after I had my first baby. I blamed it on post pardom depression (which I still think played a major role) but I realized that is also the time in my life when I was eating my worst and weighed more than I have at any other time in my life - including more than I weighed being 9 months pregnant!

So I have two theories. One is that eating healthier and more on a schedule helps physically by making my body healthier and keeping my blood sugar at a more constant level (I have a whole post to do on my theories with that one). My other is just the mental aspect. When I know I am eating healthier, I feel better about myself. When I know I am eating crappy, I feel bad about myself and feel like I have no self control. If I don't like myself, how can I think that others can like me?

That is not to say that my entire mental state hangs in the balance on whether or not I am following a set diet plan. But I do think that it plays a major role.

Guess I better run so I can exercise while the babies are sleeping!

Menus

I have officially decided that menus work great for me. I haven't had a menu for a couple of days and I have pretty much sucked!! I do have to say though that we went out for dinner last night (yes, again) and my dinner that in the past would have been 18 points was only 9! So I am still being more careful but not fully into the hard core diet mode. With tomorrow being Father's Day, I decided I will start up again on Monday. I know, I know, make a life style change, not diet. But I really have made changes. I definitely am eating nowhere near what I was before. I just need to get back in the right frame of mind so I can take off that last 10 pounds. If I could bottle up motivation and sell it, I would be a millionaire before my next birthday!!

Wednesday and Thursday

Breakfast: 8 oz Frusion, 1/2 cup milk, 1 oz cereal (6 points)
Snack: 1/2 cup carrots, 4 oz yogurt, 1 oz granola (3 points)
Lunch: tortilla shell, 1/2 cup refried beans, 1 cup lettuce (5 points)
Snack: V-8, snack pack (2 points)
Dinner: 1 fish patty, 3 oz fries, 1 cup broccoli, 1 cup milk (8 points)
Snack: ice cream sandwich, fiber chewables (2 points)

Again, the beans were only 2 points and I budgeted 3 (I do my menu a week at a time).

Did pretty good yesterday....okay, until I made a birthday cake. That is my weakness! If I am making a cake, I can't help but take a bite (or two, or ten), and eat a bite (or two...) or frosting. Ugh! Yeah, then today was my "free day." We (my husband and I) decided that one day a month, we would have a free day that we don't count points (just so we don't go totally insane). We went to an all-you-can-eat buffet and actually did pretty good. I ate more than I should have but I didn't eat very much during the day because I knew I would be eating a lot for dinner (and that was even knowing I could technically eat anything I wanted all day).

I even had cake and ice cream but decided the ice cream really wasn't that good so rather than just eat it to eat, I dumped it down the sink. I was very proud of myself for that one! Right now, I keep thinking, I could eat a candy bar because today is free, but I don't really even want one! AND, I even exercised today! Woohoo! Okay I am totally justifying my eating way to much at dinner but what can I say? I really didn't do...too....horrible...Just not really great! But it sure was yummy! I only got two plates and didn't fill either one. And I only had one dessert, ...and one soda. Okay, I really sucked it up tonight. So now I need to rock the house the rest of the week. Which reminds me, I need to make up a new menu....

Tuesday

Menu:

Breakfast: 1/2 cup milk, 1 oz cereal, multi-vitamin (4 points)
Snack: 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 package Special K crackers (4 points)
Lunch: Egg Noodle soup, 5 saltine crackers (6 points)
Snack: banana, fudge bar (3 points)
Dinner: spam and beans, 1 cup cauliflower/broccoli (8 points)
Snack: 8 oz Frusion, fiber chewables (2 points)

My egg noodle soup ended up only being 4 points, so I had ten crackers. I found some turkey spam which really knocked the points down on dinner so I had three extra points. I used them for a glass of milk and a granola bar (which actually took me over by one point but I exercised so that's okay).

One thing that I know I need to do better at but for some reason really struggle with is keeping hydrated. I know that will help me be healthier (and eat less for that matter). I am guessing that a lot of the times that I think I am hungry, I am really just thirsty but my mind tells me to eat instead of drink. I think part of that is that I already feel like I use the bathroom a lot (cursed family bladder) so I am afraid to drink even more and have to go even more. Dumb reason to not keep myself hydrated, I know. I actually read somewhere that drinking ice cold water vs just cold water actually burns off a couple of calories. I don't know if it's true or not but it makes sense - you know that little dance that comes with brain freeze....?

About exercising. I did it yesterday but had to do it without weights because I was too dang sore! Why did I let myself go? I could have just kept exercising and not had to go through all this pain! UGH!! Well, I will be sore again today (I always have 2 days of soreness, the second is the worst) and then I will be back to normal tomorrow! When will I learn....?

loss

I think I forgot to report-

I lost 4.2 pounds! Not bad. That put me one pound over my final weigh in last time. I didn't lose any fat but I didn't exercise. I guess that really does make a difference! That is what made me pull Jillian back out, I figured I needed to do something and can't do the walking thing that I talked about in an earlier post because we have swimming lessons that we have too far to walk. I know, go walking later. My kids naps are staggered just so I have only about an hour a day when they are all awake until about 4:00. By then, it is time to start dinner and I don't see a point in taking 5 kids anywhere when my hubby will be home at 5:30. But when he gets home, I am too tired to do anything...excuses, excuses...But hey! I AM exercising so it doesn't matter ;D.

Monday

Oh, I have laugh at myself. I forgot that I turned on comment moderation and didn't even know I had comments waiting for me! Silly girl!

Okay, here's today:

Breakfast: 1 cup milk, 1 packet instant oatmeal, multi-vitamin (5 points)
Snack: 4 oz yogurt, 1 ounce granola, snack pack (5 points)
Lunch: tortilla shell, 1/2 cup refried beans, 1 cup lettuce, 1 cup milk (7 points)
Snack: 1/2 cup carrots, 1 apple, 1 Tbs peanut butter (3 points)
Dinner: 2 oz chicken breast, 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup instant potatoes (4 points)
Snack: ice cream pop, 3 cups popcorn, fiber chewables, Beano (just kiddin' on the Beano) (3 points)

I did pretty good today. I actually pulled Jillian back out and worked out today! I don't think I am going to be able to move tomorrow, but...

Okay, so I went by my WW book for the beans and according to the can, they were one point less than the book said so I had a beef stick instead (needed the protein after my workout). Then because I worked out, I treated myself to 1/3 of a cookie (1 point). I have actually found that when I workout, I need to eat more or my body goes into rebellion and I can't take the weight off. But that is okay by me! Working out gets my body toned, and I get to eat more - can't beat that!

I think I am getting over my mental block to doing a menu. It is a lot of work (very time consuming) at the beginning of the week, but it actually makes the rest of the week a lot easier! I think my distaste for menus was most of the preset diet menus have stuff that I have never heard of, wouldn't know where to buy and wouldn't have a clue how to make! Doing my own menu with WW lets me eat what I usually eat and buy and still lose weigh. Love it!!

Sunday

Menu for today

Breakfast: banana, 1 instant oatmeal packet, 1 cup milk, multi-vitamin (7 points)
Snack: Fiber One bar, apple, V-8 (4 points)
Lunch: White Chicken Chili, 5 saltine crackers, 1 cup milk (8 points)
Snack: rootbeer, 1/2 cup carrots, 8 oz Frusion, ice cream sandwich, fruit cup, Fiber Chewables (8 points)

I actually did pretty good today especially considering it is treat day for the kids (they get 3 treats on Sunday night, 1 healthy, 2 not) and my husband made cream peas and potatoes (soooo yummy but soooo fattening). I did trade a cookie for the rootbeer but they had the same amount of points.

I haven't decided yet if I like the premade menu thing. There are definitely pros and cons to it. I am definitely eating TONS healthier because I am making sure I get the right amounts of the food groups. I like just knowing what to eat instead of wandering around trying to find something that "sounds good" (I have found that is what usually gets me into trouble because it is the not so good for you stuff that always sounds good). I can't really think of any concrete cons other than my mental block to having a preset menu. We'll see how it goes. Tomorrow is the first weigh-in!

Website

By the way, my sister-in-law told me about a cool website. I haven't really checked it out much yet but she said it is totally free and you can track your caloric intake as well as your calories burned each day! Sounds pretty cool.

http://sparkpeople.com/

In the dumps

I am having a really hard time getting motivated this time around. Why is being healthy such a dread? Okay, I don't dread BEING healthy, just what it takes to get that way. I haven't been doing real great, but not horrible either.

I have decided to do something I swore I would never do. I made up a menu to follow. The reason I have hated menus is because I think they are too restrictive. That is why I went with Weight Watchers because you can eat the foods you normally eat. This time around though, that is just not working. I eat way too many of my points early and have nothing left later in the day.

I am currently on day 2 of my menus. I have done okay. I figured if I got online and shared my menu and how I did, it would help me be more motivated to stick to it. This also gives me a better idea of the food groups I am eating rather than a snack pack here and an ice cream pop there to fill points. So here is yesterday:

(I get 22 points and I split my weekly points up into daily points giving me 27 points. For the first week or two, I try to be a little flexible so I don't get discouraged and give up from the get go.)

Breakfast: 1/2 cup milk, 1 ounce cereal, multi-vitamin (4 points)
Snack: 1 1/2 cups raspberries, snack pack (3 points)
Lunch: 2 pieces delight bread, 1 Tbsp peanut butter, fruit cup, V-8 (5 points)
Snack: mozzarella cheese stick, Fiber One bar (4 points)
Dinner: homemade pizza, crystal light (10 points)
Snack: fudge bar, fiber chewables (1 point)

How I did:
I skipped the fudge bar and ate a won ton that my hubby brought home from work. BUT, then I ate an ice cream sandwich (2 points) and a 1/3 of a donut (2 points). So, I went four points over but I actually exercised yesterday so I really only went over by two points in week 1. Oh, and I forgot my fiber (which according to the calculator is -1 point but I didn't figure that in to the menu points anyway, so still 2 points over). Not bad!

Today's menu:

Breakfast: 1 hard-boiled egg, 1 cup Frusion, multi-vitamin (4 points)
Snack: banana (2 points)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine, fruit cup (7 points)
Snack: 1/2 cup cottage cheese, Special K crackers (4 points)
Dinner: 1 cup Spanish rice, 1 oz cheese, 1 cup milk, 1 cup broccoli (9 points)
Snack: 3 cups air popped popcorn, fiber chewables (1 point)

So far, so good. I did have to switch the order around a bit because I took the kids to the movies and ice cream (and didn't eat anything). So now I'm down to dinner and snack!

I found it!

Okay, so I found some motivation...that is, IF I can get my motivation motivated! I have decided I am a lot more competitive than I gave myself credit for and decided to get a friend to do another competition with me. The only problem is getting her not to quit before she starts!

I was doing some thinking last night. We went to an all-you-can-eat buffet last night. I didn't do as well as I should have because I figured I might as well enjoy myself before I get back to work (I did MUCH better than I have in the past though. I chose healthier options and didn't keep eating until I thought I would puke. I only refilled my plate once AND I only had ONE dessert). That got me to thinking, why does food have to be so dang enjoyable? In the past, when I have been successful, I have been able to change my mindset from "food is enjoyable, gotta have as much as I can fit into my body" to "food (at least in excess) is what makes me unhappy." I just need to figure out how to change that mindset!

Take last night for instance. When I have gone to these types of restaurants in the past, my mindset is "get as much as you can while you can get it" and "I have to get my money's worth." Money's worth of what? ...being fat and miserable? ...having no energy to do the things I love? ...getting one step closer to a heart attack? Why do we as a general rule even think that way? "I have to get as much out of this as I can..." Yeah, I may get more food, but in the end, I have done myself FAR more damage than good by eating all that food!

Getting that out helped! Maybe I'll have to print this one out and put it on my fridge! Food is required to sustain my life, nothing more, nothing less. I need to make choices that will sustain my life in a good way, and make me healthier and happier!